31.5.05

OH CANADA!


Unknown
Originally uploaded by Hypefactor.


Something called Liquid Cocaine and a mountside accident has made me unable to give you a blow by blow account of the recent trip to Montreal with my friends, Sam, Roy, and Nick, so I will present it to you in phrases and descriptions:

Tandem Truckers
The Beard
Crossing the White Line
Satan Has the Fattouch!
Traveling Roy Chazy
“Have you ever heard of the Wallflowers?”
80’s clubs that play mostly 90’s music
Crepe and Spoon
Canadian Sign Language
And Now I’m crying Tears of Cum (loose translation of Canadian Sign Language)
Type O Negative’s “Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity (I Know You're Fucking Someone Else)” officially declared the best song ever
“If I had heard this song when I was 16, my life would be a whole lot different”
YES!
Maple Leaves
“I hope that cat doesn’t fall off the roof”
Bar Roy
“It’s Sunday, get the fuck out of here!”
John Dannemora
WOW!
“And when he gets home he’ll not only realize he owns a Wallflowers album, but that he also loves cock!”
Chicks in Ramones shirts know where to eat.
“NICK MAXWELL! I was IN the Wallflowers! Google the name and see!!
Nurture your Alcoholism
Melanie the Waitress
Eiffel Tower (Pictured)
The Soft Goodbye
Shania!

Free Croissants delivered to your hotel
What Happens at Roys Stays At Roys
Bonsuir! Bonsuir! (French for HOME RUN)
If you take your girlfriend out for her birthday, make sure she pays.
Meat Sandwiches (Celine style)
Where the FUCK is your shirt?
The F.J. DeSanto Hotel Experience
Pantybomb
“Was She National Geographic?”
cumquats
There’s a bug in my beer
STOP ME!! (said as G almost fell down a mountain)
Dirty Hippies and their Tam Tam Jam
Medieval mass sword fighting in park
“Guy’s I really enjoyed climbing this mountain”
The most intimidating Crepe ever
“Danny, you could live in that crepe! You could use it as a sleeping bag”
Listen to me…NO PICKLES.
“LICK IT UP LICK IT UP AHHHHH AHHHH AHHH!” as sung by KISS
How do you get the floss out of your teeth? WITH FLOSS!
consider for a moment that this melon has been washed in lukewarm water.
I’m gonna need a few to stink
The Canadian Phil Collins
We are the toughest men in Montreal.
"Would you click it off or leave it on?"
"You have got a dirty, dirty ass."
"You're like a walking O.C. soundtrack"
"Newport Beach," or, how Mischa Barton is a better actress in
French.
Fingerbang, B-52's style
Lesbian French Canadian Dancing Girls Rule
The Nick Maxwell Quartet and their new album three fingers to heaven
Halfway in Shock
"My taste in women is impeccable."
"I wasn't disputing that...Anjeanette."
Nair on your nuts
Everybody wants to take a dip in Lake Chazy.
FLACCID PASS.
it's their bird.
"Canada is a nation of nerds"
"That's funny, coming from a guy who used to backyard wrestle"

24.5.05

Jack Bauer R.I.P...

...or so the President of the United States will be led to believe! In the end, 24 Season Four was 23 hours and 45 minutes of pure perfection and then an anticlimatic ending and 15 confusing minutes that supposedly have set up Season Five. Well what can I say, you can't win 'em all. Jack won, but now has had to fake his death in order to avoid being killed by his own government and go on the run. It's all a bit ALIAS for me, but nevertheless intruiging. Don't count this crew out, the people behind 24 are very savvy and they pulled off a near perfect season here. Still the Best Show on Television...possibly ever. And yes, Mandy the Naked Terrorist was pardoned but the beauty of DVR was our ability to rewind and watch over and over again the scene where Curtis punches her out. A classic 24 moment. Where will it go? Who knows, but it seemed like someone got an idea at the last minute and rushed it through. They are going to write it in advance like they did last season and present the show uniterrupted starting in January so they have the proper lead time to do something awesome. I expect nothing less.

Brief Notes:

*The aggression album REVISIONIST HISTORY is complete. I'm very excited about it and you should be too. It's going to be a full disc of extremely diverse remixes from all over the world over the last 8 years. Labelmates VTG have done something very unique with our song END in that really impressed the shit out of me. It will close the album. Cyanotic have also come through at the last minute with some industrial destruction.

*My small cousin, now 7, called me to say REVENGE OF THE SITH "WASNT EVEN THAT SCARY!!" and confirms the suspicion that we are clones when he announced that his favourite scene in the movie was the same as mine. This is scary and life affirming! Next week, we will be making plans to see the film together for the millionth time.

*Excellent speaking to my friend Jamie Duffy yesterday, who I miss quite a bit. Don't worry, he's on the new Hypefactor album. He sounds happy and in good form. He's hard at work on some new music and he's jazzed. Always a good sign.

*In continuing with the industrial old folks week, I was pranked over the weekend by my buddy Todd Ryan who was out boozing with my old friend Dan Neet. New Clay People? Bring that shit!

*The company of the Ladies from Internationalpoontang.com at a New York beer garden was good old school sloppy fun. Kudos to Liz for denying social time with Bono and inventing the phrase "I want you inside me" which is being used to hilarious effect even days later. Also revealed at this was that Brandt, he of Hypefactor, has never seen a woman naked. The only thing I have to say about that is MATT DAMON.

*On the wrestling front: Seeing Vincent Kennedy McMahon Jr., Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff in the same ring last night shattered my already fragile mind. It surely must be a sign that the end of everything is near. However, i must say wrestling was pretty good for 2 weeks till HHH came back. I love the man, but its just tired and his absence from the screen for 2 weeks actually made things interesting. Go to Smackdown, guy!

*Rumours of the Stone Roses reuniting are beginning to heat up. Somehow this time its more "real" than usual. If you read this blog on any regular basis you'll know where I stand. However, after reading this today, http://www.nme.com/news/112446.htm, I started to daydream about this happening and coordinating a trip to the UK with G to see this cause I think this would actually get us across the pond. More on this when it develops.

BATMAN tomorrow.

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19.5.05

A Quick Peep


PACMEN
Originally uploaded by Hypefactor.
Out of respect for my signifcant other, who, because of certain deadlines, missed the second Kasabian show the other night, I will not comment on this fucking phenomenal gig. Don't cry for her, she is seeing them again in LA next month, which more than makes up for this.

Out of respect for my bandmate Brandt, who, because of certain deadlines, missed the U2 show last night, I will not comment on this fucking great night in which we were mere yards away from the band. However, he's in a band with me, which more than makes up for this.

The rough part of the week consisted of the U2 gig ending at 11:15 in New Jersey when we had to be back in in NY for the 12:01 SITH opening. To say we cut it close would be an understatement. G, Irene, and I ran for our lives and I'm happy to say, thanks to previews, commercials and chaos, we made it to our seats AT 12:01 and then had about 10 minutes to catch our breath. Kudos to Matt, Jax, and Ash (who noted that in our many years of friendship this was the first time we actually saw a film together, which I'm not sure I believe) for saving seats for us and going through the long haul of waiting on line and doing the general business people must go through on opening night. Thanks, guys. True Pac! For the record, SITH is just as enjoyable with repeated viewings.

Anyhow this is a photo from the recent Brandt/Dorg/Liz Bday bash that I DJ'd. As you can see, I don't travel without entourage and while Ash is missing from the photo, these blokes are the cream of the crop.

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17.5.05

KasabiON

I've written too much today and I've gushed too much about Kasabian on this blog, but last night, Kasabian, here in NY for the first of a two night stint at Bowery Ballroom, destroyed last year's Gig Of The Year (same band, same venue) by a million miles. I find it totally hard to believe, but they have actually gotten better since we last saw them (possibly because they have since graduated to playing arenas in the UK). The live arrangements of the songs from the current album are well thought out and the band is fierce as hell. The energy is real and nuclear hot. And while it was awesome to hear the "hits" like LSF and PROCESSED BEATS, it's the newer material, like 55, THE NIGHTWORKERS, and THE DUKE that really seep into your hears and make you move. The first album is GREAT, but the new songs, especially the eventual dancefloor classic STUNTMAN suggests a second album of WHAT'S THE STORY proportions. The new material displays the maturity of a band prepared and determined to not only top their first album but bring it to a whole new level. This must have been like seeing Oasis at Wetlands in 1994. I'm fucking TELLING you, this is the real shit. You'll thank me later. Until then, you're a citizen.

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The Search for Ice Cream

I won’t bore you with an essay on “My History With Nine Inch Nails” and how I saw them open for Peter Murphy back in the day, saw all their tours etc., own all the CD’s etc. Probably all of you reading this know all of that. Let’s skip to 2005…

Trent Reznor returns to the world in 2005 without a home. The scene and sound he popularized with the masses has now gone the way of hair-metal and relegated to an almost internet only community. However, that leaves the millions of citizens, converted by later material such as CLOSER to bring this man his second consecutive number one album: WITH TEETH. While many are, I’m not a hater of the new album. I’ve written about it here I think. It lacks the epic quality of the previous stuff, and Brandt brought up a very good point recently: where’s the fucking programming! THAT’S what I realized hurt this album for me. Yes there’s some synth in there, but man, could the dude program back in the day. And the lyrics, well…Anyhow, on to the show…

Mattagement, being, well the fucking manager who is supposed to do these things, was able to secure some tickets for the first NY show and I honestly went into the gig with no expectations. I knew it was going to be a first class production, that was never an issue, but again, NIN in 2005 just feels weird. As Marc Heal said to me recently: F.J., you’re 32 years old, just how angry can you be to be in something called ‘the aggression’” (which, by the way is why we have Hypefactor). The point being, Trent, you’re going to be 40, how fucking angry can you be? Millions of dollars (actually not. Read here: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1502433/20050517/reznor_trent.jhtml?headlines=true), a number 1 album and 15 years of being in a an actually successful industrial band. How rough is that!

And so the lights came down and here was TR (clad in white shirt) and a group of guys and they started hard and strong, old-school with WISH, which I thought was smart. It’s obvious that this min-tour is to reintroduce this band to the masses (read: citizens) and for NYC, this was a good choice to start with. Riding the high of this tune, he then built the tension perfectly with the classic SIN. Good stuff. However, halfway through the song the backing track went out. Now, only a geek like me would notice this, but what made it a total positive in my mind were two things: 1. We got a rare glimpse of what these guys are really playing (quite a bit, I’m happy to say) 2. We got to see Trent REALLY get pissed off when they tried to do the next song and it was all off cue. ACES.

So he threw his bottle of water, took his band and left. he returns 5 minutes later in a wifebeater, thus showing he watches wrestling just as much as I do because this fucking guy is obviously on the Triple H diet. Irene suggested a new gimmick for Trent. ROID RAGE. Cause honestly, the guy is so jacked up, I half expect to see him do a run in on Batista tonight on Raw. Anyway, scary jacked.

So he comes back and cracks a great joke about how someone “knocked the plug out” and how “guys in the back won’t have jobs after the gig”, which I found to be brilliant. So now, determined to get momentum back, he’s legit pissed and starts to throw down some new tunes and oldies like TERRIBLE LIE, MARCH OF THE PIGS and SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE. The band is tight and into it. There’s a new guitarist who is basically Trent at 25 who humps his amp and breaks things. You need that cause Trent at 40 should not be doing that kind of thing. Also, in his current Rambo phase, he would go bankrupt (and he might already be) just wrecking shit. The guy who used to be Tiwggy in Manson is on bass and is good. They’re all capable, they’re all well-rehearsed and all seem very happy to be there and give their all. Nothing more, nothing less

The middle of the set seemed to lack the energy of the start with songs like COLLECTOR, HOME and EVEN DEEPER from the last album slowing things down a bit. I think he should have done some weird stuff at some point and played stuff like HERESY and other older album tracks as opposed to the same hits he’s played every time. However, the additions of REPTILE, which was ferocious, and a revamped synth oriented version of BURN got things moving again. And even though he then went into the predictable closers STARFUCKERS and HEAD LIKE A HOLE, the performance was solid and we left the Ballroom satisfied in a nostalgic kinda way.

So while I would have preferred a gutsier set and there was nothing really super memorable, Nine Inch Nails exists in 2005 to maintain their reputation as a solid live show. Yes, you’ve grown up quite a bit, and yes, you can hate the new album, and yes he’s not pushing the boundaries he once was, but Trent has earned his spot in history. Sure, it’s nostalgia and a tad forced, and it doesn’t mean what it once did, but the man and his music has had a significant impact on our generation (especially for a grunge hating kid like myself), and I wouldn’t write the man off just yet.

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"What is it about a schoolgirl?"

There's nothing better than the HOLY SHIT moment while watching a tv show or movie. As I have mentioned several times, this season of 24, the best season EVER, has had more Holy Shit moments in one season than some networks will have in their entire lifetime. HOWEVER, in a season that has had NO bad episodes and a bunch of BEST EPISODES EVER, last night's episode, the last before the 2 hour season finale next week was simply THE BEST EPISODE EVER. Why? MIA KIRSCHNER. Lurch and I popped like we had won the super bowl. What a great way to re-introduce a recurring (hot as fuck) character. I cannot imagine how Jack Bauer is going to get out of this one, However, my prediction now is Tony Alameda won't live till Season 5. And if he dies at Jack or Mandy the naked terrorist's hands, I'll cry my eyes out and be the happiest 24 fan ever.

Best show. EVER.

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REVENGE OF THE BYALICK



Originally uploaded by Hypefactor.
While I compose my thoughts on the fucking awesome episode of 24 last night as well as the blow away, youll regret it forever if you missed it Kasabian gig, I direct your attention to the left of this photo in which we see the wonderful BYALICK just over the shoulder of Mr. Lucas...She's the one who gets me into all the advance screenings and such. Kudos to her!

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14.5.05

EMPIRE!

In a rare quiet moment before the long anticipated (and slightly dreaded) "Week of Gigs" begins tomorrow night with Nine Inch Nails (and then two nights of Kasabian, U2 and two screenings of Episode 3), I thought I would do my best to get you up to speed on where things have been this past week or so.

I was hoping Brandt would post about the magnificent New Order gig here in New York last week, but again the task seems to have fallen on my shoulders. Having last seen New Order 12 years ago and after repeated viewings of the recent live DVDs from 1998 and 2002, my expectations were very high. I expected greatness and unlike certain bands who have a long history, I didn't want to allow them to get by just on their legendary (or Godlike) status. Happily, it took New Order about half a second to blow me away by starting their gig with LOVE VIGILANTIES and it was all uphill from there. They had such amazing presence and a ferocity to them that we were all shouting and clapping like giddy teenagers with each song. New Order ran through an amazing selection of songs from their vast history and even the new material worked well (Despite an appearance from the manly chick from Scissor Sisters on the new single JETSTREAM). And just to make the night even better, we got to hear Joy Division tracks performed for the first time in our young lives. Watching my hero Hooky, in sleevless T, mind you, belting out basslines for songs like TRANSMISSION, SHE'S LOST CONTROL and LOVE WILL TEAR US APART were the highlights of the evening for me, without a doubt. Just seeing the man throwdown on the bass and the drumkat served as a wonderful throwback to being at the front of the stage during Revenge's first and only tour a decade and a half ago and deciding at that very moment that I would be a bassist. The reason we are all here. Awesome.

Meanwhile, before you read about it in NME, yes that was me hiding in a corner of Darkroom the other night with Poontang Dorg drinking Stella and making an exchange that made me the proud owner of 4 boxes of Thin Mints Girl Scout Cookies. No, Carlos D was not there. Thank fuck. Always good to see Dorg, and the addition of Stella, Thin Mints and a DJ spinning Primal Scream only makes a lovely weeknight that much lovlier. Dorg is the best girl scout connection EVER.

KICKING AND SCREAMING is a funny movie starring Will Ferrell and a bunch of kids playing soccer. It's pretty good, not a classic, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. Because it's produced by the genius known as Judd Apatow, it features cameo appearances from the various actors who have appeared in his previous TV series' FREAKS AND GEEKS and my personal favourite, UNDECLARED. Anyhow, I do enjoy the recent wave of comedies from these guys aka "The Frat Pack" (Read about them at http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2004-06-15-frat-pack_x.htm). However, I think Mr. Ferrell needs to start getting back to the edgier stuff that's NOT for kids cause I can tell you this much, as much as I liked this film, WEDDING CRASHERS is going to kick it in the ass when that comes out.

Today saw a full day of action at the Birdcage, with a special impromptu appearance by Ash Himself. Parts for a new song were demoed, work continued on The Saintface remix (getting there, Peter, I swear), and the lads spent time fixing some computer stuff for Ash so he can go and mix THEME FROM PROPAGANDA from the long lost unreleased Hypefactor album, EXIT STRATEGIES, still sitting unmixed in various harddrives in lower Manhattan. Anyhow, the HF live set was discussed, tunes were listened to and exchanged, more strategies were plotted, the Ass Cobra real band name was pondered, and by the time this was all over with, a good day was had by all. If only we can have more fun days like this. However, there's still an album that needs to be finished...

The rest of the day involved lazy wandering around the neighborhood with Irene which led to us walking through a street fair where we witnessed Leo, Giselle, and Leo's mom buying pickles from a vendor. Seriously. For the record, Giselle looks like my more attractive younger sister Anna Poontang's less attractive younger sister. Did that make sense? Then B and I exchanged some recent CD purchases while Irene and I sat and watched the new hit from Hong Kong HOUSE OF FURY, produced by Jackie himself and featuring all the new crop of HK young stars that I like, such as Stephen Fung and Daniel Wu and some old schoolers like Tony Wong and the VERY old school Wu Ma. However, not enough of the Twin Who Looks Like My Girlfriend (observer: http://www.8660.com/twins/image/20.jpg), but good fun nonetheless.

Well there you go. Things are obviously slow and boring. Maybe things will pick up. Who the hell knows...

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6.5.05

SITH (SPOILER FREE)

I am frustrated. I can’t tell you anything! I can’t talk about it. I can’t breathe a word of it. I feel so alone and isolated because I am the only person in my immediate circle of friends and family (minus one cousin who was not only at the same screening, but completely by coincidence, in the next fucking SEAT, true story) who has seen STAR WARS EPISODE 3: REVENGE OF THE SITH. Thanks of course to the great Byalick, future aunt, brilliant comedienne, and all around fucking great friend to again bring me to (for the last time) a STAR WARS movie weeks before it’s release. Though let me add that this only happened with the second and third films as Jon Favreau snaked me out of my EPISODE 1 screening tickets back in ’99 (last century, like him), thus leading to Byalick becoming the first Jewish chick to ever feel Catholic guilt. But I digress…

I of course, under gag orders in particular from Mattagement, will keep this as spoiler free as possible. But there I was at the Zigfield yesterday, remembering the 8 year old version of me who was pulled out of school by his mother (thanks Carol) to make sure I saw the first showing of EMPIRE in 1980. And I remembered that feeling in 1980 of wanting, no NEEDING this new movie to be IT, the STAR WARS you dreamt about for the past 3 years, because that first movie, the images and feelings it evoked, are embedded forever in our DNA. The nervous anticipation, the fear of it all going the way of THE MATRIX, and the genuine excitement of seeing new STAR WARS is very overwhelming. I’d be more relaxed being held at gunpoint at the Moscow train station. Anyway, after waiting WAY too long (almost 2 hours) for this movie to start, the lights dimmed, the curtains parted and thus began what I was hoping would be a REAL FUCKING STAR WARS MOVIE.

I was not disappointed. At all. Within minutes you could tell this was the real deal. I noticed immediately that the actors, in particular Hayden and Ewan, were extremely at ease with their roles. The first 45 minutes (aka “The part before the Sith hits the fan”) is classic happy-go-lucky STAR WARS. The witty banter, the innovative space battles, droid related comic relief, and awesome light saber action, are all here. Then it all goes to hell. I don’t mean the movie sucks, I mean the story goes tragic. Massively, and it’s GREAT. And it makes sense. And while I know a LOT about this world, there were even a few cool surprises in there. Plenty of “holy shit” moments for the old schoolers. Then it continues to go down a very dark path leading to the mother of all light saber throwdowns, some incredible Yoda action and answers to many of the questions we have all speculated about over the years.

I have few complaints, save one huge one. I’m going to hold off till after you have all seen it. But it was something I was looking forward to immensely that I had heard about. And it’s not there. And I’m pissed. It doesn’t kill the movie for me, but unless it pops up on the DVD, I’m gonna have one BIG issue with Mr. Lucas. To make sure this wasn’t a fan rumour, I went through the officially released script and read through the scene. It’s the only thing I can define as a true error on the part of the director.

I was really happy that not only did it not suck, it was REALLY FUCKING GOOD. The action was insane, the actors were more natural and gone was all the extraneous stuff of the past two movies. No fat here to be trimmed. Sith is a lean, (extremely) mean, Lucas machine that steamrolls you for two hours. This is the seriously good shit. The cheese is WAY down and the drama is WAY up. You get caught up in the drama. You feel for the characters and you especially feel like these two guys are trying to kill each other in the end. Yes, you know the ending, you know what happens, but man, getting there is a treat and a half. It was worth waiting 28 years for!

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3.5.05

"I HAVE MY ORDERS!!"


DON'T FUCK WITH ME!
Originally uploaded by Hypefactor.
My posts about television are few and far between, but my God, last night was the single greatest episode of 24. I'm not going to spoil it for you, but Kiefer took it to a whole new level last night and brought back the Jack Bauer that scared the fucking shit out of me during the first season. Props to Kim Raver for really holding her own with the Kiefer in a closing scene that had a more tension and emotion than entire runs of lesser shows. Fucking CSI could never pull this off...

The cast and crew of this show have really gotten their mojo back. Unlike last season, which seemed booked on the fly, this season is a tight machine that has kept me riveted to the screen each week. The alleged "reboot" of the show this season was a great swerve to keep the show fresh. As they've slowly brought back characters from the past back in, we've come to appreciate everyone's contributions to the previous seasons while giving new characters time to evolve. SMART.

If you have not seen this season, buy the DVD when it comes out. You'll do what I did during the first season and end up watching 5 episodes a day. Amazing, smart work that proves network television can compete with cable in terms of edge and intelligence and creative storytelling.

In other news, Thursday could possible be THE BEST DAY EVER as we are not only seeing New Order that night, but thanks to a certain publicist of greatness the sith hits the fan before my very eyes that afternoon. Truly a classic day ahead.

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